cheritera cutiku.[di hostel] part two

today is Sunday,
yesterday was Saturday.

assalamualaikum,
semalam citernya, Saya, Sam and B, masih lagi melepak2 kat bilik Adel.
Finishing the "hikayat" actually. and around 4pm, those two hikayats safely returned to the shelf. ehee.

around before i dont remember the times actually but it was before 4pm i guess. Cik Nurul ask us if we want to eat something as they have the 'leftover' from orator.. oh good, we accept it.:) thnks tho.


Around 6,tunggu Cik Nurul kat parking lot , tengok2 basikal ku and basikal dia takda.. ni mesti kes ada budak2 pinjam tak mintak pulak. tapi my fault jugak, sebab tak kunci. [the set of the lock with wawa and maryam, and they are now at home.], pastu nampak ada dua orang kanak-kanak riang tengah bawak beskal tu.. alalala..happynya dorang...halallahh.. Cik Nurul dia ajak teman pergi jumpa kakak mana tah dekat UMT. its not in UMT, just a house near the backgate of UMT. ceeeh.. pastu teringin nak minum air tebu, cari sampai ke pantai.. tak jumpa-jumpa, dalam jam 7 lebih ..betul2 azan maghrib masuk gate uniSZA balik..:) [kesian pulak rumate ku tu, nak sangat minum air tebu, lain kali ea]
masa balik, dua2 basikal dah kat tempat parking, tapi bukan tempat asal lah.

malam tu. duk kat bilik Adel sampai jam 2.

today..

pergi makan dalam jam 12 lebih, tengok basikal takda pulak, aiyya. kali ni nak guna.. jadi saya pinjam basikal kawan saya. angin kurang.risau gak, tapi bantai jugak..masa bawak2 tu..nampak basikal kat blok K..haha..

dalam jam 3 turun nak g library, basikal dah kat tempat asal..nice..

sapa lah agaknya tu..

finishing information transfer..
sambil layan the unforgiven II..

cheritera cutiku.[di hostel]

ceritanya, start semalam dah boleh balik untuk cuti chinese new year ..[yeayy] , walaupun pada hakikatnya, hari yang terlibat hanya hari isnin dan selasa next week, tapi sebab dah mintak pelepasan kelas untuk hari ahad .. [ada 5kelas, jenuh la nak ganti] dapat lah kami cuti sebanyak 5 hari [yeayy lagii]

5 hari tu banyakk... tapi saya tak balik rumah,,[first time tuu],
nak cuba stay kat sini, kalo bosan saya balik lah, tapi harapnya takk..hehehe..
sedihnya sebab ramai kawan yang balik termasuklah maryam, afi.. ina,, sarahh.. wawa..

tinggal berapa orang je TESLians kat hostel ni, senyap sikit..haha.tapi bosan jadinya.
semalam balik dari bandar[hantar maryam, afi,wawa ke mbkt] dalam kul 12 gak ah.. sebab gi makan mcD, KFC..[duit macam nazak ,tapi masih keluar tiap2 minggu macam ayah kerja gaji juta-juta]

balik hostel gi melepak lagi, Sam ajak tengok movie bilik Adel,
ceehh,, gi bilik dia, semua wat hal sendiri, B dengan downloadnya, Sam dengan..dia proses nak tidur.. adel tengah wat mende tah ngan laptop dia.. dan saya..saya tak tahu nak wat apa.. mata memang ngantok, sebab dari semalam tidor tak cukup sangat.. tapi tak mau naik bilik semata-mata nak amek lappy, so, i grabbed a novel, tak fokus sangat sebab banyak sangat suara-suara[walaupun wat kerja sendiri cakap tak berhenti semua] dalam pukul 2pagi...buku hanya baca beberapa helai tapi ngantok sangat dah, kejap2 tertidor, tersedar..tengok lampu dah tutup. nak naik atas ke bilik, sangat penat..semua dah tidor, tapi ada sorang ni mata masih segar.. B! tak abes lagi mendownload..heheh..[line agak laju biler ramai yang pulang]

yang lain tidor..

tersedar..[tak pasti jam brp]
B masih belom tidor..

...

dah pagi, semua wat hal sendiri, naik bilik sendiri, tinggal Adel sornag kat bilik. eh, tak dia dengan Sam,
pukul 1.30  dorang dua ajak makan.
tapi saya dah kuar beli makan ..sebab ada nak jumpa orang sebelum tu kat cafe..

dalam kul lebih pergi bilik Adel lagi..
tengok movie, kacau2 orang..

B datang, movie dah abes, semua orang wat kerja sendiri pulak,
B dengan download, Adel dengan ..entahlah..
Sam dengan someone's hikayat..and so i am..

tapi mulut bising, cakap tak berhenti..kejap2 gaduh,, pastu senyap balik, cakap balik, bising-bising..

and we killed the time..

pukul 6lebih, Adel balik rumah, kakak dia datang, tapi kami dengan tak tao malunya masih duk bilik dia..
sekejap lagi pergi sana pulak.. oh yes..


ada lagi beberapa hari...
haiih..
kami buat hal, macam takde kerja yang nak buat,
research ada dua
satu malay,
satu english

pilot test [kena design soklan..waaaah]
cari sampel 20 orang first year .[nak kumpul suh wat test dalam satu masa tu yang susah..ayyoo...]

interview hafizzzz...gaggaga...

eh..

this week, eh..
my life wasnt really okay,
im not in the mood for anything, seriously..anything...but of course on top of that, Im not in the mood of continuing my study, I felt like quitting in the middle of everything, I wonder why the hell I started this..
Im wondering if my choice is ever  the most wrongest idea at the first place, its hard to get rid from those rubbish thinking, I thought maybe, I should just follow my dream..which is nothing at all similar to my course. This course need me to be so... I dont know how to say, I loves it, but it just doesnt suit me. I dont like talking to new people, I dont know how to react to something that is totally out of my mind, it just hard. let just say, I don't like meeting people. My old days, I think I talks more to the computer, human mind are complex, much complex than the ever exist programmed in the whole universe.
    so, just to make the story of the weeks shorter.

one day, I felt very depressed because of this one thing.I tried my best to not to think about it at all, I am just so afraid. but of course i cant,
i do think of it..alot.
so i decided to ask my sister's advice.
but it turned out completely different, instead of asking only for advice,, for God sake, I wonder why the heck tears came running out at the middle of things like this, I cant even control it..

you know, when we lost the control, the mind cant work very well..and we're starting to put the blame on people.   when we did not find people to blame on, we started to blame ourselves, and this time..its hurt..very much...
at least mine is like that..
my sister said a lot of thing, the word of encouragement, she told me  and said its okay.,its okay. telling me stories of home, tell me how she see I am nothing at all like what I thought I am at that moments. I laughed.. I laughed thinking of that moments when i'm with my cousin..with my brother.. with the kids especially.
hee, lets just stop here, I dont want to cry while writing becoz i am now thinking of it..

so,
the advices, doesnt really make me okay.. i just need to stabilize myself again, but i dont know what to do, i walked, i left my friends, we are at the middle of lunch actually,   [i dont know where im walking to] its raining  that times, but not so heavy..
i decided to just go home, i took bath, and go to library.[ library is so comforting!]

i think im okay..
but im wrong as when my father called me, [guess he heard this from my sister,,cehh]
the conversation doesnt last long, its not okay ..
he try to make me comfort, telling me everything is okay and I just need to go through only another 2 semesters, do the best and im out. im out..

i knew im not okay..

it took 2 days of my life to be okay. [not long. noted that]
I dont want to think negatively anymore,
let just...go through of everything.

 right now, im still charging myself, waiting to be fully charged and i realized that i might again lost the power. but I know that, with the help of family, i can go through..

Thanks to Allah given me such a family. :)


Noted : 2:216.., 2:286., 6:17.. , 57:22-23..,13:11, 2:45, 12:87
noted 2:  realizing that whatever that had happened was not going according to my plan at all make me sad, but knowing that it goes smoothly and perfectly according to HIS planned does comfort me,
noted 3:  takut,  risau,  tak selesa, tapi bila letakkan 100 peratus tawakkal pada Allah yang apa-apa yang berlaku, itu adalah dalam aturan dia, its not really thatt disappointing.. looking back, HE is really fair :)  13:11

 p/s: angah [adik angkat masa program koko , darjah 4 sekarang,, ] called me just now. eh, its been a long time since i last having contact with that family.,, :)

assalamualaikum.

baucar buku 1 malaysia

ada tempoh..
ada limit, kalau tak salah sampai bulan 3.

masih tak tahu kedai mana nak pergi, ?
takda transport?
tak cukup masa nak pergi jalan2 usha-kedai buku?

mungkin boleh cuba shopping online pulak :)

kedai-buku-click sini utk info

selamat membeli, saya tak cuba lagi beli, kalo kena scam, jangan marah, tapi iA,  ok semua kot.HaHa..