Tuesday, August 8, 2017




What would you do if you lost something?
            And what would you feel if that thing is very valuable to you?
And what if,
The thing that you lost is actually your own feeling?

            This is a story about love and hope, a family and a child’s dream and all were shattered into pieces because of just one bad decision.

3rd January 2012

That day, it wasn’t like any other day in Tommy’s life, that day he was going to be sent into his new school. He is going to be in the secondary level and this had made him excited. The excitement of being older and nervousness of meeting new people are all rushes inside him now. Moreover, he is going to stay farther from his own comfort zone, he is going to stay in the hostel.
“Are you nervous? I hope you are okay because believe me this will be fun new experience for you buddy” said the father asking without even waiting for the answer.  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I am just tired” Tommy lied.
 Of course he feels nervous, he wasn’t supposed to be tired at all but maybe because he’s sweating under his shirt that make him feels tired. Tommy is a hard boy to love, he doesn’t know how to make friend but once he loves, he loves with all his heart. He can’t stop thinking about who is going to be his friend, he doesn’t know how to make first move in friendship, it feels awkward for him to even start saying “Hi”, but he knew that he needs to, everyone needs friend, he knew that.

            5th March 2012

It had been 2 months since he first entered the school, a lot of things going by. He did make friends, but it feels like the friend that he made can just be consider as ‘passer’,

“Tommy, can you come and solve the equation?”  his teacher called out his name in the class like usual.

What is interesting with Tommy is that, he is one of the brilliant boy, he could almost be considered as the genius in the school, the teachers love him but you know the rules in school, if the teachers like you meaning that, the students will hates you not because they hate that you are brilliant, it just that they felt insecure and jealous toward the love that Tommy get.
            And that is what happened to Tommy, he is hated for that.
 But they don’t know that not all teachers love him, some just treats him as badly as ever.
            And what is worst, yet he too is not being loved for that.

The school that Tommy is now enroll is not the normal school like other people, this is a private school, a catholic school on which apart from academic studies, he too needs to learn and memorize what he learn in his religious classes. People might see him as smart and genius academically but what they didn’t see is that he is very bad in another part. He is struggling memorizing everything, its not that he didn’t try, of course he did and he tried so much but the thing is we should always know that people are not perfect. They tend to be good on the other side until we didn’t see that there is also a part of them that is not perfect. It happened to Tommy but his parents does not understand that, they doesn’t want to send Tommy to the school of his choice, they feel like by sending him to this type of school he will learn better and progress faster than what he did back at the home. As for Tommy, he trust his parents with his life as much as he loves them with all his heart make he accept the decision and didn’t say any word to object it. With no one to share the misery of the heart, he suffered so much. The dream that he had once hold for so long finally break into pieces one by one.
            He’s being bullied physically and mentally, tortured in the surrounding depressed because of both by his classmates and the teachers. He didn’t tell this to anyone, nobody would believe him, he is known as smart and brilliant it would be a shame to admit that he can’t memorize certain verses correctly and being punished for that. Thinking of his own parents hope that he would be just fine and successful, how on earth is he going to break the news to them and then shattered all the dreams that his parents had build. He won’t do that, at least not now.

            4th February 2013

A year has finally passed, but he still has another 4 years to keep on standing, Tommy really can’t continue anymore, he’s falling so hard that no one could ever imagine, once a happy boy and loved by all his family had now becoming so different. He becomes so quiet and a loner. Tommy already makes a decision. He had decided about it for so long already, he is going to end everything that make him suffered.

            A night before, Tommy already make an appointment with Charles, the boy who keeps on bullying him. Charles was a boy with a tough body, not that brilliant but everybody fierce him, and he have a group of another tough people consider as his follower which he acted as their leader. Tommy wanted to discuss with Charles one to one without anyone else disturbing them about his feeling and that he wants Charles to stop bullying him and other people because he knew Charles didn’t only bullied him, he bullied everyone else who looks weak in his eyes.

            6th July 2013

“The court had decided that Thomas Venille Wood is found guilty for killing Charles Grey on 4th February 2013”

Today, Tommy smile as he listened to the court, He could still hear Charles voice shrieking in pain, he had lost his control that day, and he kept stabbing him without even listening to Charles begging him to stop.

            Since the day the accident happened, he didn’t communicate well with anyone. Tommy stop going to school, he didn’t talk to anyone not even his parents, he spend most of his time in his room alone without any disturbance. When the police investigated him and asked him a lot of questions it seems like only his body was there but his soul was already dead together with Charles. He can’t feel anything anymore, he didn’t care at all if his mother cried because of him or his father feels disappointed with him or not. Down at the corner of the court, he can see his parents weeping their eyes out but he didn’t feel anything, not sad, not happy, it feels like he had lost them all. Tommy stood there firmly looking at all of the faces that once he used to love with all of his heart, now it’s gone and he can’t get it back. 

This is a story that had been book-published as one of the compilation of short stories from my classmates.

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